Friday, January 6, 2012

Discarded Wings of Perfection

Some of us are people pleasers and always looking for approvel. We want to be viewed as Angelic/good/lovable, I expect.

With the onslaught of PTSD I came to accept that the wings I had adorned myself with, no longer served me on any level. A mask I had worn for 50 years...why? I'm not sure but undoubtedly the need for approval was instilled at a very early age. I know this is a universal experience especially for females. It was time to put ME first. It was not by choice but by necessity and I found it very difficult and guilt enducing the first few years. Still do occasionally but it has become easier to say NO and to voice my own needs in a manner that I hope my friends/family can accept. I discovered that being truly honest in my expression was very helpful as I was very conscious of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings as they attempted to reach out.

It's such a tragedy that we can't just be who we really are at our core and express it in it's perfection. It's all about the Ego and Fear.

The only wings I am interested in are now are the ones that I will receive when I transition into a butterfly to take flight on my way back to the Source.

~ Tutte ~