Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Breaking a Link in the Chain of My Entrapment


I have been feeling so much better in the last couple of days. Sleep perhaps is the underlying factor but I believe it is more about my re-awakened sense of Hope, need for a Change and the motivation to make it happen.

It was a gorgeous sunny warm day so went out to run a few errands. Hadn't been in a Mall for a long time and ended up in a book store. A favorite watering hole of mine on a regular basis in the past. I looked for a book that had tweaked my interest a year ago when it was Published and I bought it. An autobiography by one of my favorite comedians, Craig Ferguson. I go to bed with him every night. Watching on TV that is. Now I hope I will have the ability to focus and retain the content without the ability to read in bed, at a table or in a comfy chair. I will have to find another spot that is conducive. The toilet perhaps. One of my greatest wishes is to be able to read in bed again, a habit for 40 years or have a chair or table. Why I must move. I keep checking the Classifieds and know something will materialize when the time is right. Regardless, just to have the interest in buying a book was a major step forward. Haven't bought one in over 10 years.

Something is shifting in My Psyche and I am so grateful. I expect there will be ups and downs but this is quite a new experience for me so I will hang on to the knowledge that something is happening and be patient. Each moment of positive thinking will build upon the last and during that process I am relieved from my Anxiety. It's a huge blessing.

~ Tutte ~