Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Medications for our problems take many forms. All are ultimately abusive when out of control. It doesn't matter whether they manifest through drugs, shopping, sex, food, nail biting, smoking, house cleaning or alcohol etc. We all have them in one form or another. Have to confess that housecleaning is not one of mine. Give me a day of shoveling shit (manure) versus housecleaning and I am happy.

Most of us are unaware because we don't want to admit to our dependencies. Who wants to admit being out of control? I know far too well what mine are and I continue to struggle in letting them go. Have tried the medicinally prescribed but I don't want to be zoned out. After 2 weeks they were deposited in the toilet bowl. If one can't experience the Pain, then the ability to experience Joy is lost as well. I want to experience that small window of Joy when it is available to me..

~ Tutte ~