Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I don't even know how to begin describing what was the most terrifying, physically challenging and helpless 3 hours I have ever spent.

I fell as I was getting up from the toilet on my way to bed. What happened, I have no idea. Perhaps I missed the support bar on the wall or my right leg gave out. I have noticed it has become weaker lately and assume that is due to the nerve damage and my spinal stenosis.

Regardless, I fell on my left side, cut my elbow and quickly discovered I couldn't move or get up. I almost panicked and felt totally helpless. The main problem was that since my left shoulder has been frozen for the last 10 years, I have absolutely no strength in that arm. There was nothing I could use for leverage with my right arm. I spent about 15 minutes lying there trying to figure out what to do. I knew I had to find a way otherwise I could have been lying there for days or weeks. I should probably keep my answering machine hooked up.

I began rocking my hips end back and forth so I could eventually face the doorway. Don't know how long that took me. From that point on, I was able to inch myself forward slowly. Probably took me over an hour to reach my bedroom rug which I thought would provide more traction. I realized that I would never be able to reach my phone so calling 911 was useless. I need leverage in order to get up with my artificial knees. I can't kneel on them anyway.

So slowly I continued at my snails pace and eventually reached the side of my bed. The challenge then became how to get up and roll into it. I mustered all the strength I had left and managed to shift my position so I could use my bed and the night table for leverage with my right arm and then finally rolled into bed totally exhausted. This entire exercise took over 3 hours.

Falling is always what I have feared the most but I discovered how little strength I have left. It scares me. And how helpless I am when it happens.

This incident confirmed how tenacious, determined and how much pain I can endure. But don't want to repeat that lesson.

I slept well and woke up with some pain and bruises and rug burns on my elbow which I expect will continue to surface over the days.

Perhaps it is time to think about getting Lifeline. Seems quite necessary when one lives alone and with health problems. I will look into it.

Anyway, I am okay tonight Thank God. An angel must have been watching over me.

~ Tutte ~