Monday, January 3, 2011

Can't Sleep

It's been erratic all month but since prior to Xmas it's become unbearable. I think I've had a maximum of 10 hours in the last 3 days. An hour or two here and there. Can barely function but my mind is in overdrive. I took a sleeping pill at noon today, it usually works in 10 minutes but not this time. I went to the bank instead and paid some bills.

My body becomes so compromised on many levels (tongue, toothache, the nerves in my legs (Spinal Stenosis), loss of appetite, Gallbladder and stomach so upset that I have lived on Ibuprofen, Tums and Alkazeltzers all week. It finally settled down somewhat tonight and I managed to have a bite to eat. It's the worst way to loose weight. Not that I need to anymore since I have lost over 100 in the last year due to my mouth problems. I mustered up some energy yesterday morning to make my favorite homemade spaghetti sauce and then couln't eat it. Thank God for my much too small freezer. It won't go to waste.

To end this on a more positive note, I finally received the form from the Gov't to pursue the retroactive refunds in Disability Credits. It is what I need in order to maintain hope to pay for any move in the future. But I know from past experiences, it can take up to 6 months for any response, so my gift of patience will come in handy.

On an even more positive tone, I received the most heartfelt letter and validation from a subscriber to my website I receive quite a few but none like this one. She is living with tongue cancer and we have made a deep connection. The words she used and the way she was able to express herself is truly inspiring. There are so many loving and compassionate people out there that I would never have met had it not been for the Internet. So many things that I don't like about it but this NOT one of them. I have made so many wonderful friends from around the globe over the years that I remain in contact with.

~ Tutte ~