Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Who Am I Really In the Big Scheme of Things

This is the question that has followed me my entire life. I always veiwed myself in the spectrum of a larger picture. I looked for guidance and couldn't find any. Impossible in the formative years when I recognized even then, I was different. In the teen years I thought I had found it through Religion and then sadly discovered it didn't provide me with the answers I needed. The 'Teachers' had far too many weaknesses themselves and couldn't live up the the principles they espoused.

Have always been on a search but realized much later in life, that I contain all the answers within. It is a long and ardous, often painful journey of introspection to determine our own truth. but I knew since childhood that some of us just don't FIT IN. And Never Will! The conundrum occurs on a much deeper level for some, than for most people who are very capable of function in the 'real' world. I expect my experience is similarly experienced by Gays, Transgendered and Lesbian individuals. And certainly by the American Blacks and other disfranchised groups of people. How dare anyone make Judgements!

The most severe judgements seem to arrive from Religious Communities whose doctrines are supposedly based in Christ's teachings of non-judement and forgiveness.

The World/Politics/Religions are based in Hypocracy and I have removed myself except as an observer.

I knew I didn't fit in as a Child and as an Adult I don't either. I am blessed to know that I am still part of a larger enlightened commumity somewhere out there.

~ Tutte ~