Monday, August 2, 2010


As someone who always said that if I were left on a deserted Island, rather than having books, I would choose Music. Music for 55 years was a huge part of my overall enjoyment and part of my soul. Since the onslaught of PTSD, I have been unable to listen to anything from the past that brings back memories and it saddens me greatly. I wish I still could but it brings up too many painful emotions and can't let myself go there for fear of an attack. However the 1000's of melodies that are imbedded in my brain will remain there forever and I am grateful for having had such a great experience with music in the past. I always wished I had been an Opera Singer. I sang a lot, had a relatively good voice without training.

There is an aspect of me that thinks I may have been one in a past life since I have visions and dreams relating to that and also the ability to sing along with an Opera Aria I have never heard before. I don't know what any of that is about but one does try to find an explanation however irrational. All I know is that I adore Music in most genres including Ethnic and Cultural. One of my favorites is Greek.

When I was married and needed a time out, I would go favorite my chair next to my stereo, put on my headphones, Arch would light the fireplace, candles and bring me a drink. I would sit and listen for hours, sometimes until the wee hours of the morning. I loved that. It was meditative and rejuvenating for me. Oh, how I miss that.

~ Tutte ~