Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Held Captive by My Mouth

As a side effect of one of my Major PTSD episodes, I developed extreme mouth problems. Lost my ability to produce Saliva. Everything I ate became sawdust in my mouth and I lost my Tastebuds. It lasted 6 months. As a result, my fillings and crowns fell out and having all my upper teeth removed. There was no way to save them. That led to a Dental Plate that after 2 years, I can't adapt to. Fortunately my saliva returned so that I can once again Taste as in the past. In the process, I lost over 100 pounds. I was not unhappy about that but not the method by which I lost the weight. Starvation. I only wear the plate when I run an errand and it's the first item I remove when I return home. I can chew with it but NOTHING tastes the same. This has become a huge cause of grief. I was a Gourmet cook and loved food, especially anything with a crunch. Now all I can eat is what I can gum. It's become so boring and limited in the choices I have. It's difficult to envision spending the rest of my life in this situation. The idea is so abhorant to me. No more restuarants, dinners out etc. What pleasures do I have left?

My greatest wish today is that I could afford to have screws put in so I can get a plate without a palate. Perhaps I have more tastebuds in the roof of my mouth than others and why the problem. Other people including my parents adjusted to theirs.
I thought I would write about it here because I do believe that it helps to put my desires out into the Universe. It has worked so many times in the past. Perhaps I should start buying Lottery tickets but it seems like a waste of the few dollars I have to live on.

~ Tutte ~