Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Agony of Old Age

Who coined the term, "The Golden Years"? Perhaps it appears that way for a few previliged ones. I personally don't know any. Perhaps I should be living in Florida or Palm Springs. Health and Economics play major roles in how 'Golden' and/or for how long.

I do know that having spent 10 years visiting my aging mother weekly in a Nursing Home that I viewed as a Warehouse for the Dying, were unbelievably painful. There wasn't a day that I didn't leave with tears in my eyes. I Loved and Adored her. My greatest friend and role model. She lived to be a few months short of 98 but had wanted to die for far longer. She kept asking for years why God didn't take her home since that was her wish. I didn't have an answer. Still don't. The women in my family have longevity Genes and I sure hope they have bypassed me. I don't EVER want to end up that old. When you can't remember your husband of 40 years, what is left?

Aging is a progressive state of loss in one form or another and ensuing loneliess. Most end up alone and no one with whom to share memories if there are any left. It is a slow process of moving from hope to acceptance and coming to terms with one's own mortality. Mine began 15 years ago. That is long enough.

~ Tutte ~