After my wonderful encounter with Shaun today, I wish Arch had been there to share it with. Of course, I believe had he not died when my boys were in their teens, our lives and relationships would have been very different. That conversation would never have occurred or been necessary. Especially since Shaun was his Dad's favorite. Who knows what impact that had on the lives of my boys. Profound undoubtedly! They have reacted very differenly. No doubt, it was far more painful for Shaun since Ryan was more connected to me and still is. I have tried to imagine but it's impossible. I still remember Larry King talking about the loss of his father when he was young. It's a life altering event.
I wish I had the ability to walk along our local beach and discuss all this with Arch. Probably from the perspective of where he is today, he would be able to reassure me that I have done the very best under the circumstances.I believe I have.
I still think it's a huge tragedy for any child to loose a parent in their youth. Especially a father who was so young at heart, vibrant and humourous as Arch. Unless he had developed dementia, he would always have had that personality. Did until shortly before he died. I never met anyone who could make me laugh so heartely nor does anyone else who came in contact with him.
He was absolutely a most delightful man and a joy to live with.
~ Tutte ~
